Was my last post. I didn't realise I got over Ryan that fast. Hmm.

I suppose when you have help, it's easier.

It sucks when you meet the perfect person, aside from one thing.

He's 4000 miles away.

Anyways. Life has been less than perfect lately.

I miss my ex. I'm discontent. I don't know where I'm going in life.

Ha. someone wanna save me?

This is an Update for Matt!

Happy Birthday to me!

Been a while, hasn't it. Well, I've decided to use this journal again I suppose...

It's going to be friends only...

So, comment to be added!

I'm 18..

Woo..

I hate Birthdays.

Some prom pictures. I swear, if there was a best hair award, I would've fucking got it!
Ugh, I have ugly teeth. I'm a fucking compulsive teeth brusher, and yet my teeth are still yellow! *pouts* I have weird lips...Blegh..I don't like pictures of me..
Oh yeah, That dates are wrong..That camera sucked..

( Prom pictures )

Add me! 6bulletromance

Frickin' Idiot. Carrie won. Bitch.

I miss you so bad, and you say you do too....yet you still leave...i didn't care if i would've got in trouble..I would've made you leave instead of begging you to stay. and you still leave... thanks.

So, Prom last night. It was fun. Didn't get much sleep after though. I spent the night at James' and he was supposed to wake up at 6:30 to take me home, but obviously didn't. We woke up late. So he was late to work. Everyone was saying I looked like Amy Lee. Heh. I didn't think so, but about 5 other people agreed with James. I'll have to post pictures later after James gets home from work. Everyone loved my hair, it was cool and all. Yeah. I'm tired as hell, I went to bed at about 2, and then woke back up at 715...but I couldn't go back to bed. I tried to, but everyone was being loud here. Jimmie bought me a pretty corsage. It had a light in it.. Hehe :) My hair is basically the same as it was, Andrea put tons of hairspray in it. Haha. Yeah, I had fun. And there was no better person to go with.

I must go to warped tour...

( Bands )

Anyone wanna go with?

Tomorrow is prom. I'm going with the greatest person! :) I love you. Hehe. Prom is going to be fun, 'cept I have to get up at 9 to be at bonapartes at 10...Meh...*shrugs* I can't wait, I'll have to post pretty prom pictures :)

Today was okay. I was being really clingy to James..I really didn't want to leave his side. I got to cuddle with him and fall asleep, even though it was only for a few minutes. He's only been gone for two hours and I miss him terribly. I want to be in his arms. Meh, and I'm depressed because I miss him, and just want him to be in the same general area as me. Meh. *sighs* I miss you.

i don't know why i do this to myself..

I make myself sick..

just sometimes..I need to do this..
and I regret ever starting because I can't stop, and I get upset and start to cry...but, i still continue.

He's mine now, and I'm not going to give him up without a fight. But memories, and words are not something to just forget. I didn't want to see those pictures of her. I don't really care, but when somehow she comes back into my life...I get upset and remember..and cry....I didn't deserve this I know..I should try to get over it, and I am...Untill someone brings her and the emotions back... and, I can't stop myself.. and I feel like i can't breath. I just want to not think about it, the memories to leave me alone, and let me be happy with the one I love, The one that is so rightfully mine.

I shouldn't let it bother me this much, but it does. I think of all the pain, and torment it caused me, as if he was being dangled in front of my face, even then, I was deeply in love with him, i liked him forever, and he finally was mine, I fell fast...and continued too. I just want to be free of her. and the emotions with it.

I hate when I get like this....

Why can't I just forget?

I love you.

Come to find out, James decided he just didn't want to talk to me yesterday. He went out with his friends from 9-12 or something. I didn't want him to tell me about it, because it'd only piss me off more. But, whatever. I guess, Johnny, James and I are going to play a trick on April and convience her that I'm pregnant with Johnny's kid. I don't know why though, it was johnnys idea. He's a dork! Lol.

You wanna know what else sucks, the fact that my boyfriend is the one with the job, but yet I still buy him food and gas ect. He's a very expensive boyfriend...heh...It's sorta sad. I can't keep spending money on others. It usually leaves me with nothing. Meh.

Blegh, Haven't talked to James at all today. That sucks. I can't get a hold of him either, I wonder if he took another shift at work or something. Meh. I wouldn't thought...well hoped he wouldn't called me on his break. But, obivously not. Unless he didn't get a break, or lost his phone once more. Didn't do shit today, did laundry, folded clothes, ect. Hmm, I miss James. I'm not used to not talking to him at all. I don't know if I should worry, or if this is normal... *shrugs* It's going to be hard to fall asleep tonight. I get my dress altered tuesday.....heh..People and their online dating. Rather stupid. I don't understand how people can do it. I like being able to touch..and see my boyfriend. Lol, and knowing that he's real, and not some bald 40 year old guy who gets his kick from that type of shit..Meh.. People are fucking stupid....JEWS (no offence) :-p